Doug fought long and hard, but this thug was taller and stronger. He had Doug in reach and was very quick and apparently, had some martial arts training, as well. The fight got so vicious, that Doug ended up busting the guy's nose, and then even hit him there a couple of times, all to no avail. Doug didn't tell me how the fight ended. He didn't have to. I was able to figure out the rest. Apparently, Doug was knocked unconscious and laid on the railroad tracks. This was one sick puppy that Doug had encountered. Makes me a little sick to my stomach thinking about it. I asked Doug why. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I had to know why. Doug was killed for the 250 dollars that he had failed to pay on time to that individual in the trailer home. Doug had been killed over a lousy 250 dollars. I couldn't believe it then and still have a hard time with that fact. 

One thing I want you to know is, that the time frame it took to finally satisfy Doug's needs was about a year and a half from the first encounter playing my guitar, till the time he left me alone. It was a slow, long drawn out process. During that time though, I learned a lot, experiencing things I had never dealt with before. Also, I want you to know that there are areas here which are hard to put into words. One of the strongest emotional areas I had to deal with, was his intense longing to be alive again.. 

There was a book that I had run across that is titled "We Don't Die." I found it a very good read and very informative. I purchased this book about a year before I encountered this version of Doug. The author of this book dealt with paranormal activity and with communication with the dearly departed. One of the things he was able to do with some of the spirits that he communicated with was to feel areas on his body where the individual that had died had encountered pain when he / she had died. 

One of these experiences, was actually allowing for a spirit to take over my body. This happened a couple of weeks after my first encounter with Doug, as I had been playing Guitar. It was late at night and the others in the house were sound asleep. I was sitting on the couch in the living room, "talking" to Doug, when this crazy idea hit me. I don't remember actually how I approached Doug about taking over my body, but he was overjoyed at the prospect. 

Hopefully, I will never forget any of the experiences I have had with my spiritual Journey. For that is what I tend to call the overall grouping of occurrences I have had the blessing and luck to have experienced. The feeling I got when Doug inhabited my body is certainly one right at the top of feelings I hope never to forget. It was truly remarkable. I shall try my best to put it into words. One of the things you must understand was that a lot of what I experienced with Doug as far as feelings up to know was hurt, anger, resentment, extreme bitterness and for some strange reason, depression. I fully realized that there was a risk with what I was about to do, but was willing to take the chance. Besides, I wasn't fully sure I could pull this off. I hadn't really offered my body for cohabitation before. 

As Doug moved in, I felt a ton of emotions, from him and from me. I was a little scared and amazed, happy it was working and cautious as well. From Doug, there was joy and wonderment. The first thing He did was put my hand over my heart. He was overjoyed at feeling a warm heartbeat again. He had missed that so much. I'm not sure how long he kept my hand in that position, but it must have been about ten minutes. He then wanted to feel textures, the smoothness of the wall inside and the roughness of the rough hewn plywood outside and the rough cedar fencing. He was wanting to feel cold and heat. I let him put my hand in the freezer compartment of the Refrigerator but stopped him from putting it under the steaming tap water coming out of the faucet. I then felt this pressure starting at my lower left rib cage and going across my body to my right neck area. I asked Doug about this odd feeling and he informed me that this was where the train had run him over. I felt very queasy right then, realizing Doug had been literally cut in half. He then wanted to do something which rather surprised me: he wanted to write. I had read of automatic writing in We Don't Die, but I had never done that before either. So I got pen and paper and allowed for Doug to start expressing himself with those two items. I was amazed to see a totally different style of writing than I was used to my hand producing. The writing slanted backwards and sloped at an angle down the page, somewhat. It was unlined paper, but I was still able to write in a somewhat linear fashion when I wrote, so it was very odd to see it sloping like this. I wish I had kept the writing Doug had done, to refer back to now, but as it was, I gave these sheets to his brother. There was much that Doug wrote that expressed how much he missed his mother and brother. I think he also released a lot of anger on those pages as well, many curse words in huge letters directed at his killer. Through this writing he also started to divulge one of the main reasons why he had contacted me and had worked so hard at making the connection. 

For some of you, a lot of the rest of Doug's story is going to be a bit hard to accept. It altered my thinking considerably on certain issues about what we go through after death. Doug started to explain to me, that I was to help Doug find his killer and to have him arrested for the crimes he had committed on other folk. This was apparently a real hit man we were up against. As it turned out, there was quite a list of other young individuals this creep had killed over relatively small amounts of money, as far as what I thought the value of a human life was. Once this task had been done, Doug was going to be able to move on. He was promised another go around at life. He was to be reborn as an infant. Doug was to get another chance at having a beating, warm heart of his own. No pressure there. All I had to do was somehow track down a killer from three, almost four years ago and some how get the police involved to get this guy apprehended. All from voices from the other side. Either that or have Doug remain in has present non physical state. Sheesh. 

The first thing that I got to do was to interview a local young man which had been very recently killed by the same creep. I had heard of his death on the radio and read about it in the local paper some six months before I had encountered Doug. I didn't think much about it at the time. There had been something about this young man been found in the Kern river and his Car had been found upriver. Annually, some 15 to 30 people die in the Kern river every year, so it had been thought that he had gone swimming and drowned like so many before him. Another in a long line of unfortunate folk, which thought that the smooth water of the river was nice and calm, not knowing that they be entering some of the fastest moving water in the United States. Just beneath the surface swirls a multitude of currents, eddies, rocks, and broken tree limbs. Not friendly swimming waters at all. Some of the calm water is just feet from raging white water, as it smashes and gushes around a myriad of boulders and huge stones. 

Doug informed me that this young man was a another victim of this hit man. I wondered to myself if this hit man had a name, because as I saw it, I was going to have to use real world resources to try and stop this guy. It was some night around then, that I was listening to a rock music radio station. Doug told me "Just a minute." I didn't know what Doug was referring too. The very next song that came on was a Pink Floyd song. Doug then came back to me and said that the hit man's first name was the same as the lead guitarist's last name. I had to think a little on that one, then it dawned on me: Gilmore. Doug became very excited. 

"That is it exactly." 

I said "Gilmore ?" 

"Yes." 

Ok, fine. I had the killers first name. I then needed to talk to the young man that had died. I had to get some information from him. It was rough. The young man had not passed away all that long ago. He was still trying to adjust to no longer being alive. A lot of emotion, mostly negative, came across in my talks with the young man. I tried to explain why I needed his help, that there was a friend of mine that was killed by the same guy that had killed him. That he could help me a great deal in passing along information to the police, or someone that could possibly stop Gilmore from doing this to someone else. I needed something to let some one know that I had truly talked to him, that I wasn't just making this up. I asked if he could give me a middle name. He did just that and I wrote it down. I then asked for the license plate number of the Car he had been driving and what type it had been. He told me it was an El Camino and what the plate number was. I thanked him for his help, hoping that I had enough to convince a police officer of my ability and what I was up against. 

Doug had a particular Sargent with the local police department that he had personal contact with. I asked Doug if this officer would remember Doug. He answered yes. So I took a deep breath and armed with information at hand, I called the police department. I was very relived to find out there was actually an officer employed there with the name Doug gave me, except now he was a lieutenant. Now I just had to try and explain to him where I was coming from. 

Luckily, he was rather open minded. It took some explaining to do to try and get him to understand. He listened and I talked. He finally asked me what information I had. I told him the license plate number, the make and year of the car and the middle name of the victim. I got basically one out of three. It had been an El Camino and the year was right, but the plate number was missing a digit. Also, the middle name didn't match. I told the lieutenant that I would have to get back to him. I was going to try again to get the rest of the information was right. 

I contacted the young man again. He was reluctant to assist me again. He was wanting to be left alone. He told me that as far as he knew, that was the correct number of the plate. He also let me know that he had told me the right middle name. A dead end. I learned form Ishtar later that the young man had, in a previous life, the man hade lived to his 80's and the name he had given me was his middle name during that life time. It was much more ingrained in him than his most recent life. Fine. I needed more information to give the lieutenant. I then entered into some of the most depressing communications I had ever faced. 

I decided to communicate with some other victims of Gilmore. Doug lined them up and I asked the tough questions of them. As a group, they were rather easy to talk to. They had passed before Doug had been killed, for the most part, which meant that they were settled and had accepted what had happened to them. It certainly didn't mean that they were happy about their position or overjoyed at having to bring up those memories. I must have talked to some ten spirits. All of them had been killed at Gilmore's hands, literally. They all seemed to be vicious fights to the death. All had been killed in locations where there wasn't going to be much evidence left behind. It seemed that railroad tracks seemed to be the favorite location, a few others killed at rocky locations, some near rivers. There had been one young, very sad girl that had been killed for $150 Dollars. They also seemed to have lived in Southern California. That was rough talking to all of them, but she really struck home. I asked them of their names, when they had been killed, where, and any other information that would help me in this matter. They were all very helpful. I just hoped that the information was going to be factual and would hold up under the scrutiny of the lieutenant. 

I called the lieutenant back up and passed the rest of the information along. I explained to him of the dead end that I had reached with the young man killed locally. He seemed surprised at all the info I gave him. I'm not sure, but I think he was getting quite an education as I talked to him. I kept my fingers crossed as I finished talking to him. I was to call him back in a week, to find out the results of him checking out the facts. A week later, I again called. Another dead end. Even though computers were being used in a lot of police work, apparently the records of those that had passed was in pretty bad shape. As it was explained to me, there really wasn't any way to accurately check on my information due to a lot of the records just being kept on index cards. He apologized, but it just was not meant to be. Frustrated, I passed the news on to Doug. Doug became very depressed. I prayed to God and talked to Ishtar. I hoped against hope that there was another way to assist Doug. Nothing came to mind. About a week later, Doug came to me overjoyed. He was going to get to move on any way. God had decided that Doug had done all he could do. Doug was going to get to be reborn. Doug would again have a beating heart of his own. A very short time later, I wasn't able to reach Doug at all. Ishtar informed me that Doug had been reborn as a little girl. I was rather amazed to find this out. I guess I had never thought about the complete process of rebirth before. It was quite an eye awaking event for me. 

Unfortunately, there was still a killer on the loose that would kill some one over a $150 dollars. Gilmore apparently was employed by a South American Drug lord. I prayed and hoped that this animal of a human being would be stopped dead in his tracks. About a month after Doug moved on, Ishtar informed me that retribution had been passed on Gilmore. Gilmore apparently was involved in a rather vicious car wreck and lost both arms at the shoulder. God do work in some mysterious ways. As of this writing, Gilmore is apparently still alive. 
 
 

Preface to Chapter 9 
 
 
 
 

I have a hard time believing all that has happened in my Spiritual life. So if you notice a bit of disbelief in my writing, it is because of this. But it all did happen, as far as I can tell. 

I had a clue that the emotional cost of writing this book was going to be high, due to my many postings on the Internet of my Spiritual Journey. I was not prepared for how hard it was going to be to approach this particular chapter. 

There are many schools of thought on Satan. Some think him a figment of Mankind's imagination. Others worship him. There are those that fear him, and those that think him to be nothing more than a sore loser. 

I, unfortunately or fortunately, knew Satan on a rather personal basis. 
 

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